Sanctuary by Melanie Tays

Author:Melanie Tays [Tays, Melanie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 7

Tightness seizes my chest. I ask Darla if I can be excused. I barely make it back to my room before every muscle in my body begins to tremble so badly I can hardly stand. I kick off my shoes and they thud against the wall. Even though gentle blue light still streams through my window, I nestle into my bed, pull the covers up over my head, and let my hair fall over my face—so ashamed. Though no sound escapes my lips, hot tears spill mercilessly down my cheeks, soaking my hair and pillow. I can’t even pretend to be what they want. Nothing I do is good enough anywhere, ever.

And now I’m going to be trapped in Sanctuary until I die. I can see myself, old and decrepit, picking up discarded copies of Toren’s rants from the gutters. But then I realize the flaw in that picture, because Toren will probably be chosen to leave Sanctuary, and the trash I’ll be picking up will be far less interesting.

What’s worse…oh, a million times worse…

What if Aiken is chosen to go without me?

Of course he’ll be chosen. He’s perfect at anything he tries. His evaluator, Alan, has nothing but praise for his performance. They said if you are chosen, then you have to go, so he won’t have a choice. He never really wanted to go. He did this for me. And in the end, we won’t even be together, and it’ll all be my fault.

I curse myself, wondering why my incompetence has to spill over and ruin the lives of the people I love. Why can’t I contain it to at least remain within my own sphere? But I guess life doesn’t work that way. To love someone is to intertwine your life, whether you intended to or not.

The sky outside fades to black, and the house and street fall silent, but the tears just won’t stop. I know Aiken must wonder why I didn’t come to dinner, but I just can’t face him right now. He believes in me—it might be the one thing he’s ever gotten wrong.

Finally, I pull myself from the bed, splash cold water on my face, and brush my hair back into place. I need to see Aiken. He’ll know what to do. But when I hold my hand to the scanner to open the door, I find it locked. I check the control panel and discover the door has been sealed and won’t open until sunrise tomorrow. Quivers of trepidation shake my already frail form. Why would they want to lock us in our rooms? Is this new, or have they done it every night I’ve been here?

I debate for a minute what to do, but I really need to see Aiken. I’m already failing, so there’s not a lot for me to lose at this point. It takes me less than a minute to override the panel and release the lock. Slowly, I open the door a crack and peer out into the hallway.

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